A typical conversation between my boss and me. Part I.
Doctor: Oh! Andrew, I need to borrow you for a second.
Me: Yes, Doctor Asshole?
Doctor: Could you run to the store for me and pick up a cup of coffee, a toasted banana nut muffin and a pack of spearmint gum?
Me: Actually, Doctor Asshole, I'm the only file clerk in house today and the other doctors kinda need me at my station...
Doctor: Oh... Andrew, have a seat.
Me: Really, Doctor Asshole, I need to get back to my station.
Doctor: It'll only take a minute.
I drop into the chair with a sigh.
Doctor: Andrew, my job requires a steady hand, a focused eye and prepared mind. I couldn't possibly accomplish this without my breakfast.
Me: I realize this, Doctor Asshole, but I'm a file clerk, I need to be available for the other doctors too.
Doctor: What you fail to realize, Andrew, is that if I can't function... The other doctors can't.
Me: I don't follow.
Doctor: See, I throw a hissy fit by parading around the office with a stack of papers in my hand. I walk into the offices of the other physicians and I borrow their time to complain about you.
Me: Why wou --
Doctor: They're occupied by my useless ranting and they're delayed in seeing their patients; this is all because you couldn't get me breakfast.
Me: All right...
Doctor: Fantastic. While you're at it, here's my dry cleaning ticket and a stack of envelopes for you to take down into the mail room.
Me: I thought I was just getting you breakfast so you c --
Doctor: Andrew, Andrew, Andrew... Remember the cancer patient from last week?
Me: Yeah.
Doctor: If you had cancer, would you want a doctor with a clean lab coat? Or a coat that's been worn for a day?
Me: I'd just want to not have cancer anymore...
Doctor: Fantastic. See you when you get back, here's my files for scanning by the way.
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