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Friday, February 11, 2011

A Chat With God.

God:  hey man, we gotta talk

Me:  OMFG.

God:  yeah, thats me. so listen, youve been writing some pretty interesting things in your blog but like i think its getting a little out of hnad

God:  hand*

Me:  You truly are omnipotent, you caught that spelling error before I pointed it out.

God: lol yeah, but seriously your jokes are really kinda screwed up

Me:  You think?  I've always done my material with good intentions, you know.

God:  i dont think saying women get orgasms over making less money than guys is neccessarily good natured

Me: Necessarily.
 
God:  wat?

Me:  You're God, shouldn't you type properly?

God:  dude, im fuckin god i made everything.  i think i can type however i want

Me:  Yeah, but still...  You've got an image to keep up - nevermind. 

God:  listen man, your gunna go to hell if you dont stop writing such ridiculous shit

Me:  You're.

God:  or i can just send you now.

Me:  All right, all right.  You win, so I gotta stop writing material like that, huh?

God:  well yeah, you write too many dick jokes anyway.  your material all together is pretty weak, why dont
you try forging a new style or something?

Me:  Bro, I'm 19, there isn't much I can wrap my head around.  I have a lot of ideas but I'm not nearly 
experienced enough to flesh them out into intellectual jokes.

God:  are you condescending to me when you type like that?

Me:  What?  No.  It's just a habit, I'm sorry. 

God:  it honestly sounds like everything you say has a hint of sarcasm or malice to it, no wonder every1 hates you

Me:  You just...

God:  what?

Me:  Nothing.

God:  im god and i told you everyone hates you, doesnt that surprise you?

Me:  Not at all.  I don't even care, anyway, knowing I'm a better typist than God is pretty much inflating my ego.

God reaches through Andrew's screen and casts him into the fiery pits of hell.

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