Me: Whoa, whoa, whoa! Wait! I just got here! Do you want me to get right to cooking? I mean look at all this space hell has, you barely utilize it. Not to mention, at a glance it seems your methods of torture aren't at all imaginative.
Devil: Bw - Wha? You really think my INFERNO is weak?
Me: I wouldn't say weak... It just needs some updating. You have all this hell to use and you just keep throwing people into the fiery depths.
Devil: Whu - Well... I mean... It's kinda my thing.
Me: What about skewering people with your trident and cooking them like weinies? I'd figured you'd do that, at least!
Devil: Listen, I just never really gave it much thought.
Me: An eternity in hell and you haven't given it much thought? I've been here all of forty seconds and I already seem more qualified to run this place.
Devil: Fah! Please! You couldn't run hell! Do you have any idea how hard it is?
Me: No. I just got here but from what I've gathered, all I need to do is sit around on a throne laughing at this waterfall of people falling into flames.
Devil: ...
Me: Uh-huh.
Devil: Well, if you think you're so good, why don't you spend a -
God: whoa! lucifer... reverse psychology really?
Me: Ah, Christ...
God: no lol hes in new mexico right now, but i got osmething better
Me: Huh?
God: since your being all stupid like this, im just gunna send you to purgatory
Me: Ah, well at least I'll have you.
God: im not going with you lol
Me: Isn't God everywhere?
God: yeah but purgatory is no where
Me: But if God also exists inside of all of us, too... Wouldn't you be coming with me?
God: yeah... but... you know... i... you inside purgatory with my nothing...
God hangs his head in shame.
Devil: This guy is amazing, I want him here full time.
Me: Ehyeahright! Listen, the entire reason I'm here is because God found my jokes offensive. In all honesty, I think that as long as I lead a good life and brighten the lives of others with my jokes, does it matter how offensive they are?
God: i guess your right
Me: You're.
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