A typical conversation between my boss (a doctor) and me.
Doctor: Hey Andrew, could you do me a favor? When you stack the papers on my desk, can you make it dog and then tail? It just makes it easier to grab when I'm reviewing the scans, thanks.
Me: Uh, sure. Dog is vertical and tail is horizontal, right?
Doctor: You've never heard that expression?
Me: Oh, no you'll have to excuse me, Doctor Asshole, I haven't worked in offices too long.
Doctor: Andrew, have a seat.
Me: Huh?
I hesitantly sit.
Doctor: You see, Andrew. We're a team here. My job is to save lives, make lives better. Your job is to make sure I have my files in check...
Me: If your job is to make lives better, why --
Doctor: All I'm asking is that you give me my files dog and tail. Not tail and dog. Is that too much to ask for?
Me: Actually...
Doctor: Look. I don't want to split hairs but I work a job that rakes in quadruple the money you make and then another double added to it, so that gives me dominion over you. All I want you to do, is everything that I ask no matter how much it hurts your pride. I'm a doctor, I save lives.
Me: At the cost of ruining my life.
Doctor: I'm glad we're on the same page. Now, can you clear my schedule? I have tee time.
Me: It's 8:30, you have fourteen patients left, one of which is a cancer patient.
Doctor: Do you have an degree, Andrew?
Me: No, Doctor Asshole.
Doctor: Let me educate you, free of charge. Cancer is a slow killer, reschedule her for next week.
Me: All right.
Doctor: Good... And cancel my tee time too, I'm gunna get a massage.
No comments:
Post a Comment