Time is time is time is time...

Let's face it haters, you're no more human than I am.  We're all terrified of time and getting sexed up by rabid wolverines.  Both are irrational fears that we need to get over.

What we're forgetting is that the value of time has changed.  Thanks to the media the amount of things we can accomplish in a minute has gone from thinking up a full sentence to learning everything about someone from their facebook profile.  What's that mean besides perverts being at an all-time high knuckle-bust rate?  It means you need to stop complaining about how much time you have left and start using it.

Haters get so anxious after they end a relationship; what is there to fear?  You don't think you can meet someone else?  Hater, you need to fuckin' recognize that you can meet ten new people within ten minutes of ditching a slut.  That's the beauty of technology.

Back in the day things moved so slow.  You had to make a night out of meeting new people, collect numbers in your pockets, stay attached to your pager, update your black book, wait until you get home to listen to an answering machine, etc.  Things were so slow ten years ago that you had to load porn before you went to work, come home, make dinner and shower before you could sit down and rub one out.  The point I'm trying to make, hater, is that you're wasting precious time complaining  about your precious time.

People are so accessible now-a-days we have the dickpic.  Forgot about those, huh?  The dickpic is new, haters.  Do you think guys used to hit the local one-hour photo to make a few cockmonster copies to hand out at clubs with their cards?  Of course not.  Women have the luxury of seeing a dick before they suck on it now, you're welcome.

Speed dating is regular dating now, everything is in overdrive and people still complain about how hard it is to meet someone.  Aside from meeting people in public, you have friend suggestions, dating sites, BBM groups, chatrooms, etc.

So, next time you're worried about meeting someone (or just bored and need to make new friends), blindfold yourself and pick one of those thousands of people you're friends with on facebook.  I guarantee at least one of them will be good enough to share that precious time with, hater.