Incoming Hate #1: Hipsturds.

Hateristical data shows SoHo can blow-ho me.   For those of you who don't know what SoHo is, it's an area of New York that starts south of Houston street.  SoHo is essentially like any part of the village in New York, it's filled with hipsters who take vintage pictures with digital cameras.

Since I'm an artist in my own respect I can't hate hipsters because they're artsy, I can't hate a hipster because of their stupid colloquialisms and I can't hate a hipster for complaining about gentrification. 

I can hate a hipster for wearing a full suit while riding a bicycle that Jesus used to ride.

The basket is there to hold his tampons.

Hipsturds don't even have endearing personalities like their hippie predecessors; they are generally racist, they trim their facial hair, they all shop at Salvation Army (rather than volunteer there) and the smoking gun?

Hipsters are essentially poor people who've managed to create an imaginary pedestal from which they can condescend to everyone else.  Read that shit like this:  Hipsturds are douchebigots. 

The hate ain't done until I sex a hipster's uncle up; believe it.  These pasty puddles of hippie afterbirth don't even smell manly when they don't shower.  Put me up against a hipster any day for ten days, no showers.  I guarantee by the end I'll have a stench with body, a salty smell that will attract a French woman from miles away.  The hipster will smell like a coffee can full of queef.