Incoming Hate #2: College Peeples.

If haters are gunna hate.  I'm gunna send a heat-seeking shit-missile directly into the dorms of college peeples.  Anyone who has the audacity to complain about their lives while having the most sex they will ever have ever should be taken down a peg.

Here I am, haters, giving you a taste of your own medicine. 

So, I'm on facebook getting my boss networking on when I see a bunch of old high school acquaintances posting pictures of a bitchin' party I was never invited to.  A few minutes a later, some slut from the party musters up the period to post this:

"Sooooo hungover my moms making me go to shopping.  :(("


Too fuckin' bad you can't just skip shopping like class after a long night of getting date-raped by a frat dude, huh?  If anyone knows a thing or two about me, they should know I party.  I party like an animal.  I party like an animal that's been caged for years.  Mu'fuckas I've been let out, so I will party until I can't stay awake on the toilet.  And that's a lot of partying considering my shits are so painful I can't even blink, let alone close my eyes to sleep.  Still, I'll show up to work (unless I happened to pass out on the toilet). 

Now we have Dildo Baggins too tired to get up and go shopping at a quarter-to-noon with her mother.  Boo-hoo hater.


The only thing worse than this slizz is her drunken lay from the night before.  College dudes are the epitome of pathetic.  I once had the fleeting thought that they were tools; I was wrong.  College dudes spend all their time having unprotected sex and getting their egos inflated - at least that's what we're made to think.  In reality, there's about twelve fails before they get to have their turn with the wasted girl wearing a short dress and no panties.  These college dudes are so obsessed with the frat life (even if they aren't in one) that the pressure forces them to become complete douchefags with low self-esteem.  So come the summertime they try to bag that girl they've had their sights on from high school as if that'd normalize that empty void inside of them.

Truth is, college dude, that girl has already been nailed by someone more exciting, physically fit and older; so don't even try.

That's all I got time for; next time, I'm hating on myself.