NGF.

With great not giving fucks comes great responsibility.  Sometimes I become so obsessed with not giving fucks that I forget to give fucks for those people closest to me - or even worse, myself. 

From a young age I was showing signs of NGF; I was aloof, clumsy and awesome.  As I got older, the symptoms matured and multiplied and ultimately turned me into this remnant of a human being.  My insides are now filled with arrogant disapproval for everything around me and my outside is just a cage preventing me from punching everything in their souls.  It's not that I hate the world or I'm unhappy, I'm just uncomfortable with everything - 'cause everything is bullshit - and when I realized this, NGF consumed my life.

NGF has worked out pretty well for me up until recently, it finally caught up.  The first people to be affected by my affliction were my family.  Once the Holidays rolled around, I shopped for the essential family members (read: the people who fucked to make me) and that was about it.  I sent holiday wishes to the aforementioned parties and I unintentionally told everyone to suck a gigantically fat cock.

See, NGF's most common symptom is forgetting to express appreciation.  I don't text anyone, I don't call anyone, I barely call my mother - it's a terrible habit, but I really don't give a fuck.  See the problem?  Any time it comes down to showing some sort of care or appreciation,  I just blatantly forget because NGF has become so engrained in my life. 

I kinda just wade through life, focused on keeping afloat more than anything else.  I'm doing pretty terrible with that as is (that'll be for another post) and the addition of my family giving me shit for being shitty isn't helping.  I'd call this a cry for help - but if you lend a hand, I won't really give a fuck. 

And that's the shittiest part, there are people lending me a hand!  But I'm just so self-absorbed and focused on fixing my broken brain that I just kinda accept the help and blow them off - it's kinda fucked up. 

Oh well, I'm a charming fuck so it don't matter.