That being said, I'd like to comment on how the 80's absolutely ruined all of these bands. Not one rock 'n' roll band persisted through the 80's and came out on the other side a better band. The kicker is, some of our favorite bands released their most popular tunes in the 80's - at the cost of the masses forgetting their much better music in the 70's.
#5. Lights Ruined By Don't Stop Believin' - Journey.
When most people hear "Journey" they immediately jump onto the hood of a car and shout to the heavens, "DON'T STOP BELIEVIN'!" Every so often, Journey gets a random spike in fame that draws millions into their safe, arena-protected rock 'n' roll. Whether it be the assassination of the Sopranos, the addition of a Filipino Steve Perry or the more recent homage from Glee, it is safe to say that very few people are strangers to the sound of Journey.
Setting aside the fact that "Wheel in the Sky" is Journey's best song, "Lights" is a song that keeps the pace of "Don't Stop Believin'" while delivering a boatload more musicality, soul and imagery than the latter could ever hope to. What sets "Lights" apart from DSB is the light-as-a-feather riffage behind each verse courtesy of Neal Schon, the only permanent member of Journey. And let's face it, Steve Perry's performance on DSB is textbook at best - whereas in "Lights" he seems to draw you in with a more theatric, romantic comedy sound. Lights' usage of alliteration ("I wanna get back to my city by the bay") makes listening to this song a pleasant and smile-enforcing four minutes guaranteed to drop a pair of panties on "Lover's Row."
But why was "Lights" overshadowed by the staggering success of DSB? Well, when Steve Perry and his big-fat-nose joined Journey, the first album they released was Infinity. Infinity was such a kickass album, "Lights" simply couldn't hold its weight against "Wheel in the Sky," "Patiently," "Feeling that Way," and other badass tracks. Infinity was Journey's biggest success on the charts - beating Escape (the home of DSB).
The only reason people are so ready to jump on DSB's pole? It's simple. This is a classic story of simplicity being preferred over genuine goodness. Because DSB can be tossed into any movie, any show, any commercial, etc, make it so easy to violently rape your ears with it.
#4. Double Vision Ruined By Jukebox Hero - Foreigner.
Foreigner is a strange band. Despite over 20 line-up changes, the GOD awful (but critical) release of Jukebox Hero and allowing the media to tear their music to shreds, Foreigner has a lot of kickass work as well. No song displays their kickassery better than "Double Vision." The song changes its tune a few times while keeping to a memorable pattern, each part has a distinct sound and a pair of balls that any listener could appreciate.
So why is this song leagues above Jukebox Hero? Between 1976-1980, Ian McDonald (of King Crimson) was the driving force behind Foreigner. He is mostly responsible for not only "Double Vision," but also "Hot Blooded," "Cold as Ice," "Feels like the First Time," and "Spellbinder."
All the aforementioned songs all have one thing in common, they aren't "Jukebox Hero."
Once Ian McDonald left the band in 1980, subsequent albums were just fucked. But that didn't stop Jukebox from being their most recognizable single and 4 from being their only #1 album. I chalk this up to the 80's. 4 was released in a year desperately starved of good music, so the masses were ready to listen to anything... Even Jukebox Hero. That screechy piece of shit song will continue to exist, endure and persist for all of time. This song will plague our radios until Kingdom Come.
But, we'll always have Foreigner's first three albums to listen to. Albums made in a better time, undaunted by the inescapable void of the 1980's.
#3. Free Will Ruined By Tom Sawyer.
Rush is probably my favorite band for obvious reasons; they're fuckin' Rush. A three-piece outfit that can make better music than most symphonies, Rush has solidified their spot as the most under-appreciated group in the United States - mainly because they rarely did press here - but still almost everyone knows Tom Sawyer. I will testify on behalf of myself, Tom Sawyer is one kickass tune. But should it be the end-all be-all of Rushdom?
Ladies and gentlemen, I give you Free Will. There is no song that better displays the talents of these Canadian fucks. I mean, you could listen to their extensive progressive catalogue - but who has four days to listen to one song?
Free Will is concise, it's ballsy and it also takes anything Tom Sawyer can do and does it times boner. Right off the bat, you have a catchy rock song capable of radio play on the daily. Then you hit the bridge, which is essentially like crossing into the New World on the back of Odin's cock. You enter a place where musicians will just straight up fuck shit up, no matter who the fuck is listening. Geddy Lee sets the tone with a filthy bassline that's so dense it God thought he had a kidney stone, then Lifeson draws in with a solo that can only be described as shit yes, fuck me harder. All the while, these bastards sit upon a Middle-Earthean foundation of tight drumwork by percussionist legend, Neil Peart. Once the bridge finishes, Lee simply adds a cherry on the sundae by singing at the highest end of his already ludicrous range.
All that being said, why is "Tom Sawyer" the more-loved single by Rush? Well, Tom Sawyer came out in 1981 on the album Moving Pictures, which is Rush's largest commercial success. Each song was a reasonable length and all of the songs took on a more crowd-friendly sound. The album featured synthesizers more heavily than their last and also - the drum fill. Often mistaken as a drum solo, "Tom Sawyer" is blessed with a sick drum fill that got all of the world readying their mouths for Neil Peart's gargantuan schlong.
And to think, just a year earlier, "Free Will" came out on January 1st, 1980 (technically a 70's song because it was recorded in '79) and not only did it kick more ass, it had a message everyone could relate to.
#2. American Girl Ruined By Anything in the 1980's - Tom Petty.
If you know anything about Tom Petty, he's more angry at music than anyone else in the entire world. From his front porch he's been yelling at the direction of music for the past two decades - being quite vocal about all this trash we're listening to. It is my proposed theory that Petty still holds a grudge against the 1980's, a time that seems to be making it's grand return as we speak. And as Petty has seen it once before, he'll be damned if it happens again. You see, in the 1970's Tom Petty & the Heartbreakers released a few albums that were pure gold. Among this gold was a diamond-studded babe, "American Girl." Although this bitch gets her share of radioplay, there was something about Tom Petty the 80's loved. Between the duets and the working-class bar rock Petty was pumping out, 70's Heartbreakers were being forgotten in the abyss.
"American Girl" is a quintessential rock song overshadowed by a huge catalog of rom-com soundtracks. Songs like "I Won't Back Down" and "Free Fallin'" and "Don't Come Around Here No More."
By the time the 90's came around, Tom Petty was being played on the pussiest of radio stations and worse yet - he became a "Superbowl" performer. FAG.
#1. London Calling Ruined By Should I Stay Or Should I Go Now - The Clash
There's no band more fucked by themselves in the 80's than The Clash. Whatever you want to call this band (punk, reggae, or otherwise), The Clash was simply the Only Band That Mattered to the teens growing up in the late 70's. The Clash had a sound both rebels and rock enthusiasts could get on. With the monumental release of London Calling, it seemed the Clash were ready for global domination... That was until the 80's came along to make everything pretty. If there's one thing we know about rock 'n' roll, pretty is synonymous with shitty.
London Calling (the song) is one sick fucking tune. It's low down, it's dirty and it makes you want to punch the air over your head - I'd call it fist-pumping, but for punks it's more of a fuck air dance. So when the 80's came about a year later, The Clash had some choices... They could do whatever the fuck they wanted. The could a) give a nudge to reggae/two-tone music and create a cult following (check) b) release some of the pussiest songs in their career (check). Now I got nothing wrong with 80's Clash, I just feel like they get way too much recognition in comparison to themselves from the 70's (the Pure Clash).
So, not three years later, both Rock the Casbah and the sleeping giant Should I Stay or Should I Go Now were released. Due to the dancey style, mixed with easily-learned riffs, combined with the sing-a-long vocals and the MTV ejaculation of this song all over your face; Should I Stay or Should I Go Now has become a staple in "Ooo, that's fun!" rock - instead of, I want to strangle a rhino between my thighs rock.
The Clash didn't make it out of the 80's alive thanks to the suffocation of media (at least that's who I blame).
All it really comes down to is this: Media. In the 1980's, the media had a revolution of sorts. Readily-available cable, cheaper albums and MTV all made it easier to force songs into your subconscious and ultimately engrain into pop culture as the "popular" songs - not the better songs.
The Clash didn't make it out of the 80's alive thanks to the suffocation of media (at least that's who I blame).
All it really comes down to is this: Media. In the 1980's, the media had a revolution of sorts. Readily-available cable, cheaper albums and MTV all made it easier to force songs into your subconscious and ultimately engrain into pop culture as the "popular" songs - not the better songs.
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