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Thursday, June 30, 2011

A message for you ladies.

It's Thursday night and I'm fucking baked.  You can't fuck with this, haters.

Ladies, two words.  The fuck?  You ladies flaunt your new found independence - oh wait...  Your independence is old news, get back in line 'cause you're doing it wrong.  Men don't flaunt their independence, why?  'Cause we've been running shit since my grandmother was humping Zeus, believe it.  Men know how to use their independence, we don't let it run to our heads.  Sure, we might exert our power to do whatever the fuck we want, but we keep a delicate balance in society.

Once women suddenly get a role of influence in the world everything is suddenly in decay.  2012 is upon us because women can't remember their gender role.  Sounds sexist but in reality it's science.  Humans are matriarchal by nature and you women are ruining that part by creating stay-at-home dads and day cares.  Best kind of day care?  Your mother, the person who knows you inside and out.  Your mother also gives me night care.  That's a blowjob when the sun goes down for those who aren't following.

Fact of the matter remains.  You got some power, now be responsible with it or else you're gunna ruin the entire world.  

5 comments:

  1. Gee, I sure hope men stop fucking up so women can stay at home at trust them not to screw things up during the absence of a woman. We don't wanna hear that the economy is bad, we want to see you become the king of the McDonald's staff and then use that experience to climb a more valuable ladder so we don't have to go out and do it ourselves. Trust me, if knowledge and comfort could live together in harmony, I'd do all my research in my library that I could afford to have if you'd stop filling the crisper with beer and deciding to have a midlife crisis after your wife became a walking muppet because she's stuck at home tending to her decaying social skills. She tries to think of more creative ways of expressing herself to you but then you complain to your man friends (and in stand-up comedy specials) that your wife nags and that's what you drink. Oh and by the way, if you're so strong and evolved, you have the strength to work all day AND change a diaper when you get home. Besides, if you want us women looking and smelling pretty, we shouldn't be doing things like taking out the trash or fixing shit. We are delicate flowers and we become aroused at the sight of a man who works hard and isn't afraid to exert himself. In other words: if you want a woman in the bedroom, trade that keg in for a six pack and stop being a pussy.

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  2. This comment has been removed by the author.

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  3. ^Horomones + Bleeding Vag + No Sense of Humor = That.

    Remember that, kids.

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  4. No way man, that's rebuttal humour right there.

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  5. Oh, well your timing doesn't exist and there needs to be "humor" in your rebuttal. It sounded more like a rant of a menopausal bear.

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