Gimme some skin.

Time to turn some haters into appreciaters.

I don't think black people understand that white people have one less sense than them.  It's either that or black people have yet to realize that they have one more sense than white people.  And guess what?  While you're at home reading this with your daddy playing hide the banana in the babysitter AKA the television (your dad has sex with televisions) I'm over here cracking codes and writing this bullshishe.  Pay attention.

Black people have a sixth sense that's better than getting vomited on by ghosts, it's called skinse.  Yeah, I just came up with it and you're gunna like it.  Skinse is the ever-strengthening power in which a black person can anticipate the kind of skin he's gunna receive from his man.  For you honky hillbillies, that means a black person knows what kind of handshake he's gunna get before he gets it.

INCOMING HATE.  Black people, y'all gotta realize I don't have skinse.  I only know one kind of five, that's the high five.  I never even fucked with the low five because I don't wanna risk my big old balls gettin' slapped around.

The minute a black man raises his hand up for a five, I start having a miniature panicattack.  Just kidding, I have a complete mental breakdown.  To white people, giving skin seems like a coveted ritual (a lot like drawing dicks on passed out drunks for honkies).  We don't want to be the white devil that soiled this ritual, so we lock up. 

So when that hand raises up, this is my thought process.

Jesus...  Okay, judging by the angle that means he's going in for a clap 'n' lock.  After that, it looks like improvisation...  *CLAP'N'LOCK*  Oh, oh, god...  He's doing the smooth slide away, I hope he doesn't notice my palms are soaked because I'm so nervous.  Oh, SHIT, is he gunna lock again?  Might as well...  Go...  For...  I can't believe I'm just holding his hand now...  Why aren't I letting go?...

It goes on for much longer, but I don't want you haters knowing too much about me.  Let's keep it simple, my friends.  When you're going to give a white man some skin, put your hand up and keep it there so he can tap it.  He'll feel like a winner.